Think back to the last time you watched The Weather Channel or the local weather on the news. Remember how the radar was able to pick up the storms and lock onto them? Well, each of us has an internal radar that picks up and locks in on certain kinds of people.
I call this process our “relationship radar.” If we are lucky, and/or if we have worked at it, our radar picks out people who are potentially good for us, and things work out.
Unfortunately some folks have faulty relationship radar that predictably chooses people who will eventually cause them pain. Here’s what I mean: if you were to go to a party with 100 men/women and there were two of them that were her “type”, your faulty relationship radar would pick them out in about five minutes tops. You might even find the other ones “boring” or just “too nice.”
Now let’s look at how faulty relationship radar gets set and then more importantly, how to change it.
How Relationship Radar Gets Set
1. The model for relationships we saw in our parents
2. Our self-esteem
3. Our relationship experience and history
If you’ll notice, two of these factors, the model we had and our relationship experience are things in the past that we cannot change. That’s the bad news. The good news is that
1) we can be aware of and begin to change past patterns, and
2) we can rather quickly and effectively change our self-esteem.
So let's take a look at how to change your relationship radar.
(Article continued on next post)
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