4. Then make a list of positive characteristics in someone with whom you’d like to be in a relationship. This can be an ongoing and growing list that will guide you in re-setting your radar, and then in making a better choice.
5. Finally, here’s a quick self-esteem raising exercise. Rate your self-esteem on a scale of 1 to 10, (with 1 the worst and 10 the best) in the following four areas:
where it is now
the worst it’s ever been
the best it’s ever been
how you would like it to be
Now it’s time for some higher math: take the number of where you would like your self-esteem to be (let’s say 10) and subtract the number of where it is now (3 for example). Where I went to school, ten minus three is seven. (I’m such a show-off!) This means you have 7 levels of self-esteem to reach your goal. While that’s too big a chunk to handle all at once, you can break it down into manageable pieces by asking this question: “What will it take for me to go from a 3 to a 4, then a 4 to a 5, and so on?”
Follow this path, and watch your self-esteem grow, and your relationship radar change.
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