How to Correct Your Relationship Radar
Here are five key strategies for correcting, or re-setting, your relationship radar:
1. As you think back on the parental model you had for relationships, make two lists:
the first is a list of characteristics from your parents relationship that you would like to keep
the second is a list of characteristics that you would like to discard and leave behind. Then get to work on eliminating the negative characteristics from your life.
2. Pay attention to your relationship history and patterns. Do you find yourself attracted to the same kind of person who winds up hurting you? Do your relationships follow a similar pattern and end in the same way? Do you find yourself getting hurt in the same way over and over? These are signs that reveal that your relationship radar needs some radical readjusting.
3. Based on the exercise above, make a list of danger signals to watch for in people you are getting to know. As one client of mine put it: “I keep picking scum, so I’m going to call my list “Scum Signals.” If you start picking up these familiar signals, an alarm should go off in your brain, sort of like the robot on “Lost in Space”: “warning! warning! - danger Will Robinson.”
Then follow this 3 word Rx: “Run like hell!”
(Article is continued on the next post)
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